Last year, between the two of us, we watched an average of 317 movies.
This year our goal is to top that by watching at least one a day.
And as an extra special torture, we've decided to write about all of them.

10 June 2008

My Spy (aka. My Mom's New Boyfriend), dir. George Gallo (2007)

NIKKI says:
Somebody needs to talk to Meg Ryan. Don't be fooled by the shot of her over there on the poster, which looks like it could be from City of Angels or, as Steve guessed, Proof of Life. In this movie, Meg's face looks like a ghostly mess of plastic pulls and tugs. When she smiles, she creates creases on her face that weren't there before. Creases like when you're putting contact on a book and you get that stretchy bubble. You just wanna press it down, but that looks ugly, so you have to cut it, make a long hole, and delicately stick the edges down.

Meg Ryan looks like the she needs her face cut open and her edges stuck down.

It is distracting, her weird mouth and crazy demon-eyes. Every second character in this movie, too, described her as so beautiful. She had men lusting after her, and yet she looks like a bag of bones with a fish head. I'm sorry Meg Ryan -- but what have you done?!?! All I could think about was that it made sense for Antonio Banderas to find her beautiful since he's married to the second most ridiculous new face in Hollywood. Meg Ryan looks like Goldie Hawn in First Wives Club. It's embarrassing.

Anyway, the movie... I could not feel more "meh" about this one. It was pretty standard -- mom is a flighty babe who loves younger men, her son in the FBI wants her to act her age, his fiancee reckons they should set her up, along comes Antonio who is just divine, until the son discovers hes an art thief. Then the son goes about bugging the mom's home and listening to her have sex. Almost...

I don't know, perhaps the comedy was just too broad in this one for me? I didn't care for Meg bouncing around trying to be 21, and I got tired of the exasperated son, and his character-less fiancee. Antonio held my interest, but his great love for Meg was underdeveloped -- or maybe just unrealistic when taking her bubbles into account. The story played out as expected, and Steve picked the twist ending before we were even halfway through.

Nothing to rave about. This makes me want to watch that Michelle Pfeiffer movie, I Could Never Be Your Woman -- now there's a woman growing old with style.


STEVE says:
I had this whole thing I was going to do about how Meg Ryan looks like a blow-up sex doll, but I don't think I can beat "bag of bones with a fish head", so I'll let it go.

My Spy was inoffensive, but not very good in the end. The intrigue aspect wasn't all that intriguing because you just knew Bandaras wasn't going to be a real art thief. There's no way the filmmakers were going to let Meg go off in the end with the bad guy, and there's equally no way she was going to have her heart broken by said bad guy. What are the options? Clearly, he's not a bad guy. Indeed, he ended up being an undercover CIA agent - which was pretty much telegraphed from the pre-title sequenced when Bandaras gets busted for trying to steal a statue from a museum in France, gets busted, but is absolutely certain he's going to be free after one phone call. Seriously, not even five minutes into the movie.

Then, there was the mildly creepy plot device of having Colin Hanks listening in on his mom as she and the "art thief" are hooking up. Ew. He'd never be put in charge of this case because his emotional attachment would compromise the integrity of the investigation. But as ever, uncomfortable comic situations win out over logic. What are you gonna do?

Did I say this was inoffensive? I take it back: My Spy was offensive, but in a way that's forgivable because it's not being lauded as one of the greatest movies ever (*cough* Juno).


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