Last year, between the two of us, we watched an average of 317 movies.
This year our goal is to top that by watching at least one a day.
And as an extra special torture, we've decided to write about all of them.

15 December 2008

Vacancy 2: The First Cut

Director: Eric Bross
Writer: Mark L. Smith
Released: 2009
Cast: Agnes Bruckner, David Moscow, Scott G. Anderson, Arjay Smith, Trevor Wright, Beau Billingslea

STEVE says: Yeah, that's not a typo or anything. The IMDb has this movie listed with a January 2009 release date. We watched a screener. Which is cool because now I can honestly say I've seen the future of horror.

And it's bo-ring!

Within the first 20 minutes we're introduced to the two yahoos who run the Meadow View Motel, and learn that they're selling videotaped exploits of the young couples who've stayed at their fair establishment. No great shock there, as we already know the place is wired - having seen the first film. But when a decidedly suspicious looking "Mr. Smith" checks in with a young woman, and these yahoos watch as he first spreads a sheet of plastic over the bed, then proceeds to mount said young woman from behind and stab her in the back 20, 30 times... yeah, no real surprise there, either - having seen the first film!

The rest is no better. It's murder-by-numbers with the odd chase scene thrown in for good measure. Or, you know, to pad it out to its scant 86 minute running time.

And look, I'm just throwing this out, okay? For any direct-to-video prequels that may be in production at the moment: Don't use a number in the title. Don't use a number in the title especially if you're using a sub-title that refers to your movie being a prequel. It constitutes a supreme incongruity. That's the same sort of paradox thing that almost got Marty McFly killed.