Last year, between the two of us, we watched an average of 317 movies.
This year our goal is to top that by watching at least one a day.
And as an extra special torture, we've decided to write about all of them.

01 July 2008

Unearthed, dir. Matthew Leutwyler (2007)

NIKKI says:
It's got to be one of the weirdest happenings in filmdom that Bros drummer Luke Goss is suddenly a movie star. When I saw him in Blade II, I thought someone had hit the nostalgia button and nabbed him for a movie purely because how hilarious would it be to have LUKE GOSS in our movie?! Now, I realise, I'm perhaps one of the few people who link Luke to his days as a new-wave boy-band pioneer. So, umm, he's actually, I realised, an actor now.

Well, maybe actor is too strong a word. Luke is popping up in movies that don't give him all that much of a chance to really act. He's about to star in the movie version of Tekken, which makes my point well. He's a muscular alien coat-hanger, really. Just standing about while evil things happen around him, that same disturbed and dangerous look in his eyes. One day, someone might give a him a real role.

In Unearthed, he skulks about as Kale, a scientist who assists in the accidental bringing-back-to-life of a 900-year-old evil that goes about killing people in a form almost identical to that of Alien's alien. The first half of the movie gets Those About to Be Killed to a gas station in Nowheresville, New Mexico and the second half is all run and chase and kill and die. I didn't care about anyone, I wasn't scared by the monster. I was frankly just bored.

The only worthy thing about this, apart from Luke Goss's facial tattoo, is the appearance of Wounded Knee '72 veteran Russell Means. Otherwise, it's lame. Go watch Tremors instead.

1/5

STEVE says:
Yeah, I'd have to agree with that. Part Tremors, part Alien, all stuff we've seen before. It wasn't bad bad, but it wasn't particularly memorable, either.

1.5/5