Last year, between the two of us, we watched an average of 317 movies.
This year our goal is to top that by watching at least one a day.
And as an extra special torture, we've decided to write about all of them.

13 February 2008

Aliens vs. Predator: Requiem, dir. The Brothers Strause (2007)

STEVE says:
I don't know what depresses me more: a shitty low-budget Indie flick like Pumpkin Karver, or a shitty big-budget studio flick like AvP:R (oh, how trendy). And to think, I said to Nikki only last month, "Surely it can't be worse than the first one."

I don't know what the hell I was thinking. With the exception of Fincher's Alien 3, which I thought was way-cool, the Alien movies have been getting progressively worse with each installment, and Predator 2 was so bad that it strangled the whole franchise to death, sparing us Robert Rodriguez' Predator 3 (a western, if you can buy that). Why should the AvP series be any better?

No question, AvP:R was bad. But it wasn't even So-Bad-It's-Good bad; It was Uwe Bolle bad. There was no material there to have fun with on any level. It picks up where the last one left off, then it's just carnage, carnage, character we don't care much about, more carnage, more cookie-cutter characters, carnage, explosion, end. Fuck me, man - 83 minutes of this shit.

I will never again underestimate Hollywood's contempt for the movie-going public.


NIKKI says:
About three quarters of the way through this movie, Steve quizzed me: "I'll give you a dollar for every character you can name." I thought I'd win quite a bit -- remembering names is my thing. Turns out I could remember only one, and that was because I thought it was stupid. I can't remember any of the other characters at all. Not then, not now.

This was probably the most insipid film I've seen this year. Pumpkin Karver was bad, but you can tell someone tried. This movie just doesn't even care. It serves absolutely no purpose beyond the quick buck. But, it is possible to make that buck with an okay script. I don't get this at all.

Just beyond bad. The worst of the worst.


[Steve also watched Blade Runner again.]

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