Not Quite Hollywood

Director: Mark Hartley
Writer: Mark Hartley
Released: 2008
Cast: Phillip Adams, Tom Burstall, Jamie Lee Curtis, Everett De Roche, Bob Ellis, Richard Franklin, Anthony I. Ginnane, Barry Humphries, Stacey Keach, Russell Mulcahy, Quentin Tarantino, Brian Trenchard-Smith

Anamorph

Director: Henry Miller
Writers: Henry Miller, Tom Phelan
Released: 2007
Cast: Willem Dafoe, Scott Speedman, Clea Duvall, Peter Stormare, James Rebhorn

STEVE says: This was interesting, but not altogether good. The concept of a killer arranging his murders as art is cool - if not completely original (David Bowie did a concept album, "Outside" on the subject in 1995), but after a while you've just got to ask yourself, "Wouldn't it just be easier to shoot these people, or stab them or something?" The answer here is "Yeah, sure... I guess. Leave me alone!" But of course it's all about the art in the first place; the murders are incidental. And that's what I liked about it.

The thing is, there's no resolution to the story. Is Dafoe the killer? Is he the copycat? If so, who's the guy he was chasing if not the killer or the copycat? Does Dafoe know he, himself, is the killer if, in fact, he is? All questions the director felt we didn't need to know the answers to.

Normally, that's something I'd dig - a story where the journey is more important than the destination - but this time, I just felt cheated.

2/5

[Steve and Nikki also watched Hot Rod again.]

Night of the Living Dead

Director: George A. Romero
Writers: John A. Russo, George A. Romero
Released: 1968
Cast: Duane Jones, Judith O'Dea, Karl Hardman, Marilyn Eastman, Keith Wayne, Judith Ridley, Kyra Schon, Russell Streiner, Bill Hinzman

NIKKI says:
Moonlight movie on Halloween. It was very cool. And the darkness and the wind only added to the creepiness of the movie. I do have to say, though, I'm glad to see the back of horror month. I want some fun. I want some bright colours. I need to laugh.

What can you say about Night of the Living Dead? It sets the bar. It's still the best zombie movie of all time, still one of the smartest horror movies ever, and still fucking scary. I love it, and I enjoyed a lot the experience of watching it outside. Fulci, however, was "TOO SCARE" through the whole thing. Wind and zombies was too much!

5/5

Dark Night of the Scarecrow

Director: Frank DeFelitta
Writer: JD Feigelson
Released: 1981
Cast: Charles Durning, Robert F. Lyons, Claude Earl Jones, Lane Smith, Tonya Crowe, Larry Drake, Jocelyn Brando, Tom Taylor

NIKKI says:
Wow, one of my all-time favourites. This is about as scary as movie get. Again, it's all to do with the atmosphere, the themes, the paranoia that comes with guilt and distrust. Of course, there's also a sackheaded scarecrow which is way fucking insanely creepy, but he's not the cause of all the creep. Not really.

It's really a horror movie fairytale, with poor Larry Drake attacked after saving the little girl from the scary dogs. So, on that other level, it's about love and understanding, unconditional friendship. Drake's revenge is very sweet, and I don't think I can think of a death scene more horrifying than the guy in the big silo. Ughghgh. It's horrible.

Good movie -- scary and beautiful.

4/5

Frankenstein

Director: James Whale
Writers: Garrett Fort, Francis Edwards Faragoh
Released: 1931
Cast: Boris Karloff, Colin Clive, Mae Clarke, John Boles, Edward Van Sloan, Dwight Frye

Dracula

Director: Tod Browning
Writer: Garrett Fort
Released: 1931
Cast: Bela Lugosi, Helen Chandler, David Manners, Dwight Frye, Edward Van Sloane, Herbert Bunston, Frances Dade

Lifeforce

Director: Tobe Hooper
Writers: Dan O'Bannon, Don Jakoby
Released: 1985
Cast: Steve Railsback, Peter Firth, Mathilda May, Frank Finlay, Michael Gothard, Aubrey Morris, Patrick Stewart

The Lottery

Director: Larry Yust
Writer: Larry Yust
Released: 1969
Cast: Olive Dunbar, William Benedict, William Fawcett, Joe Howarth

STEVE says: There's something to be said for a film that manages to be suspenseful and shocking, even though it has one of the most famous endings in literary history.

I tried to watch this as someone who wasn't familiar with the story, and it wasn't easy. Like the last ten minutes of The Wicker Man, where you just know Edward Woodward is going to be burned alive, but you're still waiting for someone to swoop in and rescue him - no matter how many times you've seen the movie. It was a lot like that. But I was able to appreciate the lead-up a lot more, knowing how it was going to turn out. Yust (and Shirley Jackson, it must be said) highlights the banality of evil before the audience is even aware that evil is in the picture. Genius.

After watching this short film, I'm reminded of the woman in Fahrenheit 9/11 who was pro-war until her son was killed. In The Lottery, Tessie Hutchinson - like everyone else in the town - is all for the lottery, until it affects her personally. Then, suddenly, "It isn't fair!" Considering "The Lottery" was published in 1948, this short was made in 1969, and the themes were still relevant in 2004... Well, "the more things change", I guess...

3.5/5

NIKKI says:
There's something about old farm-lookin' dudes from the backwoods that just creeps me out. And this has lots of 'em. But that's not the point of the story... so it is a famous story, and it's still as scary as it ever was. Amazing how after so many years and so many retellings you still sit there in shock that the townspeople are actually going to go through with the ritual. Maybe it's because after all those retellings, there's still no actual reason why they do it.

Steve and I decided the themes in the story have much to do with conscription and sending kids off to war. We openly and randomly choose names from a hat and send people to war to be killed. This is a simplified exploration of that very strange practice that, when laid out in this way, just seems insane. Like so many things, I guess.

3.5/5

The Dark Half

Director: George A. Romero
Writer: George A. Romero
Released: 1993
Cast: Timothy Hutton, Amy Madigan, Michael Rooker, Julie Harris, Robert Joy

STEVE says: Not one of the best Stephen King adaptations, but surely one of the better ones. The fact that it's Romero gives it a bump, as well.

3/5

Burn After Reading

Directors: Joel Coen, Ethan Coen
Writers: Joel Coen, Ethan Coen
Released: 2008
Cast: George Clooney, Francis McDormand, John Malkovich, Tilda Swinton, Brad Pitt, Richard Jenkins

STEVE says: I haven't seen a Coen Brothers movie in the theatre since O Brother, Where Art Thou? in 2000. Coincidentally, I haven't cared for much of their work since then, either. So the fact that Burn After Reading had me excited enough to get into the theatre seemed a good sign.

Now I'm wishing I'd waited for the DVD.

I didn't hate it as I did The Ladykillers, wasn't indifferent to it as I was to Intolerable Cruelty, and wasn't bored by it as I was to The Man Who Wasn't There. But I didn't love it. Better than Fargo, but it was no Miller's Crossing or Lebowski, films I can revisit again and again and never get bored with. Burn After Reading had its moments. They were just too few and far between.

3/5

NIKKI says:
Wow, about as MEH as you can get. Well, maybe it would have been less meh had it not been a Coen borthers movie of which I expect so much more. But, you know, maybe I shouldn't. The guys haven't really been all that impressive with their original stuff of late. (No Country, of course, was brilliant, even if it fucked the ending of the book.) I don't know -- everything I really don't like about the Coen brothers was all over this movie. I'm not into wide-eyed Fraces McDormand characters who are supposed to perhaps be lovably stupid, but come off as just stupid. I'm not really inot the whole Brad Pitt playing the fool thing. And I didn't really care for the intertwining stories rehash.

This was a failed attempt to pout every cool Coen trait inot one big star-filled movie as if the stars would detrct from the really kinda lame plot and poor execution. It was horrible or anything, but it wasn't anything special either. The guys, it would seem, are out of Lebowskis.

2/5

Dawn of the Dead

Director: Zack Snyder
Writer: James Gunn
Released: 2004
Cast: Sarah Polley, Ving Rhames, Jake Weber, Mekhi Phifer, Ty Burrell, Michael Kelly, Kevin Zegers, Lindy Booth

STEVE says: It's like Remake Central here at Casa de Steve y Nikki. Either this says that there are more good horror remakes out there than we'd thought, or that we like crappy remakes more than we let on. You decide.

I think I'm in the minority on this, but I actually like the Dawn of the Dead remake, crappy or not. There are things about it that annoy me, to be sure - like its lacking the social commentary of the original - but overall it was fun and violent and gory, and that's pretty much all I was hoping for.

3.5/5

The Fly

Director: David Cronenberg
Writers: Charles Edward Pogue, David Cronenberg
Released: 1986
Cast: Jeff Goldblum, Gina Davis, John Getz, Joy Boushel, Les Carlson

They Live

Director: John Carpenter
Writer: John Carpenter (as Frank Armitage)
Released: 1988
Cast: Roddy Piper, Keith David, Meg Foster, Peter Jason, George "Buck" Flower

NIKKI says:
I'm loving this week. This is the coolest movie. So, maybe John Carpenter forgot how to direct after this one? And write, too, apparently, because this is such a good story. Could it be before it's time? Or at least aware of its time. This one is all about the media keeping us asleep with mind-crushing advertising and blinding pretty pictures making unfulfillable promises.

Roddy Piper get s pair of shades that allow him to see through the advertising to the real, black and white world underneath. He's suddenly exposed to everything and must fight those crazy aliens keeping us all down. Someone once described Roddy's journey as a "battle of self-awareness", and I really like that desciption. It's something we all fight every day; the constant search for truth amid the bullshit. It's a great representation of that battle. I love it, even despite the ten minute fight scene. It's a ten-minute battle or self-awareness, Steve!! Get into it!!

4/5

The Thing from Another World

Director: Christian Nyby
Writer: Charles Lederer
Released: 1951
Cast: Kenneth Tobey, Margaret Sheridan, Robert Cornthwaite, Douglas Spencer, James R. Young, Dewey Martin, Robert Nichols, William Self, Eduard Franz, Sally Creighton, James Arness

STEVE says: Watching the original again, I'm thinking it's unfair to call Carpenter's version a remake, as the two share very little in the way of similarity. Sure, they both take place in the arctic, and they both have an alien antagonist, but that's really where the similarities end. Carpenter's movie (and, indeed, the original story it's based on) deals with a creature that consumes and imitates whatever life it finds here on Earth, and Nyby's creature is just James Arness with a prosthetic forehead, hiding in the snow and occasionally smashing through a door.

It's a classic, yes, and I enjoy watching it - I'm just not sure it earns the "based on a story by John W. Campbell, Jr." credit.

3/5

Harold and Maude

Director: Hal Ashby
Writer: Colin Higgins
Released: 1971
Cast: Bud Cort, Ruth Gordon, Vivian Pickles, Charles Tyner

Re-animator

Director: Stuart Gordon
Writers: Dennis Paoli, Stuart Gordon
Released: 1985
Cast: Jeffrey Combs, Bruce Abbott, Barbara Crampton, David Gale, Robert Sampson

John Carpenter's The Thing

Director: John Carpenter
Writer: Bill Lancaster
Released: 1982
Cast: Kurt Russell, Keith David, Wilford Brimley, TK Carter, David Clennon, Richard Dysart, Charles Hallahan, Peter Maloney, Richard Masur, Donald Moffat, Joel Polis, Thomas G. Waites

STEVE says: John Carpenter could live to be 2000 years old and direct every movie made in that time, and still never come close to making anything as good as The Thing.

4.5/5

NIKKI says:
Man, the '80s was a good time for campy, awesome horror. This is another movie filled with crazy looking monsters that the cast plays entirely seriously. It really works. I like this movie a lot. It speaks to all my scare-points -- isolation, paranoia, darkness. It groups those things in a really cool way so that you feel just what the characters feel. The tension is quite real throughout, and it all feels so authentic that when the big spider thing jumps out, you're not going "oh whatever!" but "oh my holy fuck look at THAT?!!"

Movies like Waz could take a lesson in what it is that makes an out of this world horror feel real -- atmosphere, development, and timing.

What happened to John Carpenter? It's like he made this and then forgot how to direct. Sad.

4/5

C.H.U.D.

Director: Douglas Cheek
Writer: Parnell Hall
Released: 1984
Cast: John Heard, Daniel Stern, Christopher Curry, Kim Greist

STEVE says: So many good things to say about C.H.U.D. - but I'm not going to go into them. The New York Times review from 1984 pretty much nailed it, so check that out if you want a critical analysis. Me, I'm using a different cultural yardstick to measure the film's awesomeness: The Simpsons.

• In the September 21, 1997 episode of The Simpsons, "The City of New York Vs. Homer Simpson", Homer's recollection of his first trip to New York City ended with his falling in the sewer and quoting, "...and that's when the C.H.U.D.s came at me." Marge responds: "Of course you'll have a bad impression of New York if you only focus on the pimps and the C.H.U.D.s."
• In another episode of The Simpsons, "Hello Gutter, Hello Fadder", Homer — when falling from a building with Otto on a bungee cord — goes down into an open manhole and sees various underground creatures, including Morlocks (from H.G. Wells "The Time Machine"), C.H.U.D.s and Molemen (with Hans Moleman as their leader).
• In yet another Simpsons episode, "Crook and Ladder", a videocassette of the film is seen at the beginning of a chain of videocassette boxes used as dominoes.
• Also when Homer takes Bart to see the Itchy and Scratchy Movie, Air Chud can be seen on the marquee. In fact, several variations of C.H.U.D. related titles are seen at the Springfield Multiplex throughout the series.

A mention on The Simpsons is a sort of validation of pop-culture worth, an initiation into the cultural zeitgeist — and C.H.U.D. has been referenced nearly as many times as sci-fi icons Planet of the Apes and Soylent Green. It probably also has something to do with the fact that the Simpsons writers are big nerds, but we'll table that argument for the time being.

C.H.U.D. is the perfect B-movie, from its roots in 50s paranoia flicks right down to the silly rubber monsters with their phosphorescent eyes. The inevitable remake will no doubt use CGI C.H.U.D.s and ruin the whole effect. That's what let the Chainsaw remake down: Too Much Money. Some things were meant to be made on a shoestring, yeah?

4/5

NIKKI says:
Ahh, now that's better: an '80s horror movie I'm allowed to still love. Man, CHUD is the best movie ever. It looks, on the surface, like a cheeseball horror flick with silly looking demons under the bitumen. But it's really a dramatic, genuine picture about the state of the homeless. It's smart, it's funny, and it's got some great scares if you know where to look.

It's one of those B-movies where no one in it realises it's a B-movie and all play their parts like David Lean is behind the camera. Daniel Stern and John Heard just rock all the way through the movie, remaining utterly serious for the duration. They're CHUDs, you know? And yet these guys never for a second let you think the threat they pose is anything but realistic and catastrophic.

I love this movie for many reasons, but that's a big one -- the earnestness with which it's all carried out. This is a first-rate horror classic.

4/5

Clownhouse

Director: Victor Salva
Writer: Victor Salva
Released: 1989
Cast: Nathan Forrest Winters, Brian McHugh, Sam Rockwell, Tree

NIKKI says:
I knew the whole Victor Salva/paedophile thing from the time Powder came out, but for some reason, I held onto this movie. He did this one a fair while before Powder, and I'm sure the reason it remained in my collection was the whole clown thing. Scary carnivals are my thing, and this has a damn creepy one.

I didn't know, however, until after this viewing that the boy Salva was charged with molesting was the little boy from the movie. We decided after reading that to get rid of the movie. It's just kind of undiginifed to have it in our collection with such horrible things affiliated with it. Poor kid. And he was the one out protesting Powder, and somehow Salva is still allowed to make movies with young shirtless boys running all over the place. Crazy.

As far as Clownhouse, I used to think it was a cheesy Z-grade horror film with some mad clown visuals. Now, I just think it's icky.

Unrated

W Delta Z (aka The Killing Gene)

Director: Tom Shankland
Writer: Clive Bradley
Released: 2007
Cast: Stellan Skarsgård, Selma Blair, Melissa George

NIKKI says:
You know, WAZ started off okay. I thought the banter between Melissa George and Stellan Skarsgaard was geniune and effective. I also thought the Se7en-like energy the film had meant it might be a cut above your standard psychological slasher. Sadly, as the film went on, it lost much of its inital smart, low-key appeal. Which is to say, it went all torture-porn-y and showed way more than it needed to and just moved to extremes I really don't think it needed to go to. I don't think the story needed much alteration, just the depication of the sadist undertakings within it.

In a movie like this, I want to feel haunted by the things we do to each other, by the levels we'll go to when exacting revenge. Stepping away from a film like Se7ev, you certainly feel the grime on you, but that film didn't show us in ultra-graphic detail every cut and kill. Here, we see it all, and we're horribly desesnsitised to the Hostel way of vieweing horror effects in films that the atmosphere of terror is replaced by blatant gore which really isn't that shocking. It's like a movie pissing contest to see who can make the best looking snapping back fingernails. Boring.

Annoying really, because this had potential to be a really classy thriller. They just pushed it all too far and I didn't really care one way of the other in the end. I just wanted it all to stop.

2/5

The Devils

Director: Ken Russell
Writer: Ken Russell
Released: 1971
Cast: Oliver Reed, Vanessa Redgrave, Dudley Sutton, Michael Gothard

NIKKI says:
Yeah, this was just about the creepiest thing ever. Steve's been at me to watch it for a long time, but I'm just not the biggest Ken Russell fan. I think he's cool, I just don't really like his movies. I can't pinpoint why except to say they're so very 1970s-BRITISH. I know that's totally inappropriate and the wrong way to describe what I think when I think about movies like this. I get a sense of Fahrenheit 451 and Blow Up. and I just can't do it.

Even so, I did like this one. It had all those elements that bother me, but I was compelled, at last by scary Oliver Reed to put my unfounded and silly prejudices aside and enjoy. It is, though, a hard movie to enjoy. It's creepy and in your face and full of meaning and metaphor. Instead of trying to outline the complex plot, I'll let "Nizz" do it, courtesy of the Internet Movie Database:

Cardinal Richelieu and his power-hungry entourage seek to take control of seventeenth-century France, but need to destroy Father Grandier - the priest who runs the fortified town that prevents them from exerting total control. So they seek to destroy him by setting him up as a warlock in control of a devil-possessed nunnery, the mother superior of which is sexually obsessed by him. A mad witch-hunter is brought in to gather evidence against the priest, ready for the big trial

Couldn't have said it better myself. And there's a big scene with nuns having an exorcism-slash-orgy, and Oliver Reed goes around saying extremely profound things, and at the end I pretty much needed a shower. A religious experience, to say the least. And while I didn't entirely understand it, I certainly recognise its power. I think...

3/5

The Texas Chainsaw Massacre

Director: Marcus Nispel
Writer: Scott Kosar
Released: 2003
Cast: Jessica Biel, Eric Balfour, Jonathan Tucker, Erica Leerhsen, Mike Vogel, Andrew Bryniarski, R. Lee Ermey

NIKKI says: It's probably the best of the Next Generation Remakes, but it still has it's issues. We realised last night that it really does drag in the end, as Jessica Biel runs and hides from each and every character in the thing. And there's another issue -- there are too many damn characters. But, even so, it's frightening, it's got some good horror, it's teen victims aren't complete dunces you just wish someone would cut up. All in all, it's a good modern horror film.

I have a hard time watching the original Chain Saw, only because I find its horror so completely visceral and realistic. As soon as we put this one on, I remembered how well it also does its slimy, gruesome horror. There's something about both of these films that makes me forget they're just movies and gives me the absolute squeals. It all starts after the girl shoots herself in their van. GROSS. And then they go to the gas stations that's not really a gas station and there are all these flies on pig heads and it's gross. Then they find some teeth, then R. Lee Ermey wraps the girl in plastic, then Jessica has to help the old guy with the catheter, then the hot one gets hooked, then Eric Balfour gets his face cut off. Grossness everywhere. But effective grossness, and grossness that seems to fit the story being told. So, it works.

Yeah, so much as we love this movie, we had some problems with it last night. We realised that the remake perhaps tries to do too much. The old movie just had the three members of the family, and this one has mothers, fathers, sisters, grandparents, little kids... it's not good, and it overdoes the creepy. And the old movie really kept the action focused inside the house and with the family, which was really the main purpose of the film, to look at this strange group. The new movie takes the action outside and makes it a real can and mouse chase, and that can get tedious. I believe the political undertones of the first film are also removed. This one had a theme more like Friday the 13th, with Leatherface's mum pissed off at kids for tormenting her boy. Which is a bit boring, and kind of silly for a film set in the charged early 1970s.

I really didn't like, either, the final shot of Leatherface as Jessica gets away. He looks like as evil monster. In the original, he flails about on the road and looks like what he is, a confused stray.

Still, I enjoy the remake. I like the kids, it's absolutely beautiful to look at, and I scream at the gross stuff. Success.

3/5

Just Desserts: The Making of 'Creepshow

Director: Michael Felsher
Released: 2007
Cast: George A. Romero, Richard Rubinstein, Tom Savini, John Harrison, Nick Tallo, Tom Atkins, Adrienne Barbeau, Ed Harris, Bingo O'Malley

NIKKI says: I've never been the hugest fan of Creepshow. I think it has something to do with the cartoonishness of the whole thing, which I underestand is the point of it, but still never really drew me in. Perhaps it has to do with the fact that I wasn't into comic books as a kid? Because when I first saw the film, I found it kinda silly, and not really scary, and really not that entertaining. Apart from the bug one, which I've always thought was horrifying.

Still, even without a real love for the film, the documentary was fascinating. I enjoyed hearing all about the project and how it got off the ground, and how George Romero and Stephen King came to finally put it all together. It really made me miss that sort of old school filmmaking, where a couple of guys with mutual love for something join forces to bring it to life. This was back when it wasn't about names and budgets and studios and effects, but a real desire to want to see something very specific on screen. The idea and then the how-to, rather than the other way around.

I very much enjoyed, too, the different sorts of folks they spoke to here. From the major players in the project to the grips and the editors and other cool folks usually left in the sidelines.

Some great stories, some interesting filmmaking philosophies, a lot of great movie history. I really liked it. Pity they didn't talk to King, though. That was really the thing's only downfall.

3/5

Halloween: 20 Years Later (aka H20)

Director: Steve Miner
Writers: Robert Zappia, Matt Greenberg
Released: 1998
Cast: Jamie Lee Curtis, Josh Hartnett, Michelle Williams, Adam Arkin, Jodi Lynne O'Keefe, Adam Hann-Byrd, LL Cool J

Tropic Thunder

Director: Ben Stiller
Writers: Ben Stiller, Justin Theroux, Etan Cohen
Released: 2008
Cast: Ben Stiller, Robert Downey Jr, Jack Black, Jay Baruchel, Brandon T. Jackson, Nick Nolte

NIKKI says: So, who knew this was gonna be the most freakin' hilarious thing ever? Okay, so not EVER, but it was damn funny. I'm so over Ben Stiller, which made me shrug this one off as yet another vanity piece for the guy to go around yelling and making stupid faces. Consider -- he's really only got one classic in his comedy list and that's Zoolander. Everything else is just annoying. So, how is it that this works? Well, I think it has a lot to do with the fact that his character in this movie is very much like Derek Zoolander. A passionate innocent, with a huge ego and a small brain. Welcome back, Ben. I like you again.

So, this new Ben is on the set making a movie in the jungle with rebel drug makers trying to kill him which he thinks is fake movie magic but after certain bizarre circumstances becomes completely real. He fumbles his way through the whole thing as his friends and fellow actors try to save him. Jack Black plays a heroin addict on detox whose only claim to fame is fart-joke movies, and Robert Downey, Jnr plays an Australian actor so immersed in his character of a black man that he can't stop talking like Mr. T.

Their mission to get Ben and go home occurs as Ben's agent, Matthew McCaonaughey, tries to get Tivo to his client trapped in the jungle without entertainment. He has to battle the big studio boss, Tom Cruise, to make this happen. But Tom wants to let Ben die and claim the insurance and buy Matthew a plane. So, Matthew has a moral dilemma on his hands, and Tom Cruise dances around a lot like a sex-monkey FREAK.

It's so ridiculous, I could not stop laughing. Who thinks of these things? I did enjoy the parallels between actors on set and soldiers in the jungle. That was very clever, and the way the whole thing pulled together with Cruise as some crazy President-like guy sacrificing his actors for money -- it was good.

I can see us going back to it every year like we do with Zoolander. Maybe we can double-team the both of the them?

"A little twig-man Oscar. I 'm going to call you Half-Squat, and you can call me ... papa."

Half-squat.

3/5