The Nightmare Before Christmas

Director: Henry Selick
Writer: Caroline Thompson
Released: 1993
Cast: Danny Elfman, Chris Sarandon, Catherine O'Hara, William Hickey, Glenn Shadix, Paul Reubens, Ken Page, Edward Ivory

A Christmas Story

Director: Bob Clark
Writers: Jean Shepard, Leigh Brown, Bob Clark
Released: 1983
Cast: Peter Billingsley, Darren McGavin, Melinda Dillon, Ian Petrella, Scott Schwartz, R.D. Robb, Tedde Moore, Zack Ward, Yano Anaya

High School Musical 3: Senior Year

Director: Kenny Ortega
Writer: Peter Barsocchini
Released: 2008
Cast: Zac Efron, Vanessa Hudgens, Ashley Tisdale, Lucas Grabeel, Corbin Bleu, Monique Coleman

NIKKI says:
Why was I so excited for this? I may have gone mad, but I just could not wait to see a High School Musical movie on the big screen. My excitement was all held over from the rush I got when we saw the preview ages ago before Wall-E. The curtain, the sparkles, the basketball, stepping noises... Wildcats WOOH!

I am so lame.

So, it was okay. Actually, it was huge fun and I loved it. However, I did have some issues with it. Many, of course, are the same issues I have with all these movies. I was hoping some of them would have been fixed this time around but no such luck. Here now are my top four Problems With High School Musical 3:

4. Sharpay's redemption
Or lack thereof. Sharpay spends the whole movie being an utter cunt to everyone that threatens her dreams of starring in the final East High Super-Mega-Show. She, like Natalie Sands (bitch!) before her will stop at nothing to make sure poor Gabriella misses the final show allowing Sharpay to step in and be the star. Well, she sabotages Gabriella's role, and almost ruins her relationship with Troy and completely overrides and shits on all her East High friends.

BUT! At the end of the movie, at graduation, who should be sitting next to Gabriella, both smiling at each other, but Sharpay! I didn't see them make up. I didn't see anyone spill red wine on Sharpay's expensive white dress as comeuppance. I saw no redemption whatsoever for bitchy Sharpay. Not good enough!

3. Gabriella's icky sweetness that makes me want to punch her
Can we get this girl some edge? Can't someone dig up some cell phone pics of her dancing around with an ex-boyfriend from her old school? Can we find out SOMETHING about her that doesn't make me think she's as soft as jelly? Ugh.

2. Gabriella's utter lack of character development
So, she goes to pre-college or whatever it is and decides a few days later to leave Troy and not come home for prom or the big final show. Umm... how did she come to this conclusion? These movies have this awful guy-centric thing, or Troy-centric, maybe, that utterly discounts the women. Look at Sharpay -- between these two protags, you'd think the writers here know only of two kinds of girls: sweet-natured Gidgets or bitch-ass beauty queens. This, of course, is so not the case. I was hoping to see Gabriella in her own "Bet On It" moment, getting out her aggression somehow -- throwing candy canes? horseback riding? -- but, alas. It was not to be.

1. The look in Troy's eyes that is supposed to say "I love you, sweet Gabriella" but really says "Man, can we just FUCK already?!"
Was it just me, or did Troy have raging hormones where his eyes should have been? Watch him every time he dances with Gabriella. He is flat out screaming with his face: "I want you!" And, of course, the little tease denies him, which just made me want to take him home all the more to put him out of his freakin' misery.

Phew.

Still, it was the best of the series with some great songs and some big cool dance numbers. I loved "Scream" and "The Boys are Back". It was just bigger and better as far as production goes. Pity they couldn't have ironed out some of my niggly issues. If only they were doing a fourth one...

3/5

Speed Racer

Directors: The Wachowski Brothers
Writers: The Wachowski Brothers
Released: 2008
Cast: Emile Hirsch, Christina Ricci, John Goodman, Susan Sarandon, Matthew Fox, Paulie Litt, Willy and Kenzie

STEVE says: It's been more than a decade since the rumours started flying about a live-action Speed Racer movie. Johnny Depp was rumoured to be playing Speed (that's how long ago this was) and I think Sherilyn Fenn might have been mentioned as Trixie, but it's possible that part was only in my head. (I have a large catalog of fantasies involving each individually, and it's quite possible that they've merged.) It was on and off for a while, and finally the Wachowski's picked up the ball and ran with it. It looked like my wait for a live-action Speed Racer movie was over.

Not so.

Turns out, this movie is really nothing more than a live-action cartoon. I don't think there was one scene that wasn't shot against a green screen, and that's disheartening. The movie itself can't be distinguished from a cartoon in that 98% of it was CGI.

With all the flashing lights, quick cuts and bright colours, the Speed Racer movie is the cinematic equivalent of an all-syrup Squishee. I'm just trying to decide whether that's a bad thing.

3/5

WALL-E

Director: Andrew Stanton
Writers: Andrew Stanton, John Reardon
Released: 2008s
Cast: Ben Burtt, Ellisa Knight, Jeff Garlin, Fred Willard, John Ratzenberger, Kathy Najimy, Sigourney Weaver

NIKKI says: There's just something about that little trash machine that's had me obsessed with seeing this film for a while. I hate the cinema these days, though, so I was happy to wait for DVD much as it was killing me. But, a spur of the moment decision led us to the movies to finally see it. And I absolutely loved every second of it. Which is to say, I loved every second of Wall-E. Is there anything in the universe ever that is cuter than him? I can't think of a single thing. I can't think of a single moment in my entire life -- and I've seen a lot of CUTE -- that rivals the heart-melting two seconds when Wall-E tips his trash can lid hat to mimic Michael Crawford in Hello Dolly. There's nothing cuter in world history. And it makes me want to give this movie five stars.

But ... I wished the whole thing had been just Wall-E and Eve running around, because I didn't enjoy myself as much when the humans came into it. I can see the point being made about our fat ass lives and how we're just ruining everything with our need for more, more, more, and easier, easier, easier. But humans on the whole were kinda fat and stupid and I didn't really enjoy that aspect of the movie.

Still, I was distracted from that most of the time by Wall-E and Eve. Ohh, they were just great, and whoever wrote thier little love connection story is a genius, because without words this great love story just came to life. It was fascinating to watch. Two characters who don't really ever say anything, and yet you see every moment, every emotion, every instance that drives them into this relationship. It's adorable.

So, I loved it. If the humans had been made a bit more realistic, I would give it a five.

4/5

My Bodyguard

Director: Tony Bill
Writer: Alan Ormsby
Released: 1980
Cast: Chris Makepeace, Adam Baldwin, Matt Dillon, Martin Mull, Ruth Gordon

Horton Hears a Who!, dir. Jimmy Hayward & Steve Martino (2008)

NIKKI says:

It was a last minute decision arrived upon after our selected movie (The Alibi) had some sound issues that meant Rebecca Romijn wasn't really speaking her lines but mumbling as though in the middle of a large mouthful. 

I had high hopes for Horton. I read the book as a kid, and have always loved the Seuss-ian Whos. They're pretty much the cutest things ever. It's a sweet story, and deserves to have it's adorable (and ever-timely) message out into the world, and this movie is the perfect vehicle for that. I loved it. Shoot it right to the top of the best-of-2008 list. Finally, there's something there that's not a horror flick.

There's not that much else to say here. Everyone knows the story, everyone knows the big-name actors involved. Everyone is reliable, the story is extremely faithful to its source, and the animation is some of the most realistic I've ever seen. The field of pink clover and the water in Horton bathing pond were especially remarkable. How do they do that? The details in this were amazing, especially in Whoville where every inch of the screen was filled with something interesting. The care taken here shows. I've not been so impressed by an animated film for ages.

(Losing half a point because I still think Kangaroo gets off too easy!) 

4.5/5

14 Going On 30, dir. Paul Schneider (1988)

NIKKI says:
Today turned out to be my little tribute to Paul Schneider, director of awesome body-swapping movies from the 1980s. When I chose this to watch after Willy/Milly, I had no idea they were made by the same guy. How hilarious. Watching them back to back, I started to get the feeling that 14 Going on 30 was Schneider's Disney-vision, while Willy/Milly was his anti-Disney, raunchified vision. In that one, he got to swear. In this, he sticks to Disney formula -- everything is nice, everyone is nice, and no-one ever alludes to the existence of anything remotely resembling sex.

I still love this movie. It's been a long time since I've watched it -- a LONG time. I don't think I've watched it since primary school, to be honest. My sister and I used to watch it as kids, and I still remembered a lot of the lines and gags. It's the Disney TV-movie version of Big, really, where a young guy becomes a 30-year-old and brings his kid sensibilities to the sticky adult world. In this case, he chooses to be made older so that his beloved Miss Noble sees the bad side of her fiance, Coach Jack-Jaw. Along the way, of course, they fall in love, and he wreaks havoc all over his high school where teachers have mistaken him for the new principal.

Does it get anymore Disney-awesome than that? It's all very cute and involves scenes of Danny (our boy-turned-man) trying to drive, to work, and to order food in a classy French restaurant. You know, all the classic embarrassing situations for any adult. And Steve Eckholdt is just ridiculously funny as older, fumbling Danny.

Not the greatest boy-swapping movie of all time, but I still love it, after all these years.

3/5

Steve did not view.